What Is There Left For Me? (Private)

[vacuusanimi]

Jarek Laska inhaled deeply the cool autumn air of Salem. The smell of dead leaves was sweet on the air of early November. As the breeze flew over the black street, it sent gold, orange, and red leaves scuttling into the gutter. He watched with lazy eyes as the warm colors ran across the street.

Then, Jarek lifted his gaze down the residential street at the cars parked on the sides. People were outside raking in futility as the winds sent more work down to them.

He smiled as he moved his fingers slightly. An older man's large pile of leaves suddenly swirled into the air and then fluttered back onto his yard, covering it again entirely. The old man stood there for a second before he threw down his rake and then started cursing as he stomped into his house.

Jarek chuckled softly to himself before he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jacket, turned on his heel, and then continued back down the quiet street.

"Silly people," he muttered softly to himself. "You give up so easy."

Jarek lifted his soft blue eyes as he slowly strolled down the void-of-traffic avenue. He watched as people moved around in their little plots. Raking, decorating, leaving, arriving. Family things. Normal things. He spat to his right at the thought of it.

"Happiness," he muttered.

"No such thing," he thought to himself.

And there never would be...not as long as Jarek had anything to do with it.

[Miss Gates]

Emma Merill stepped outside. She didn't normally walk out during the day; she kept to herself most of the time. Her high I.Q made other people take a double take. She was gorgeous and she didn't mean to brag. Now that didn't mean she didn't have friends. Oh she had plenty of friends. Emma was the top of her class, well pretty darn close. Emma was beautiful. There was no doubt about it. There was just one problem...Emma could never tell someone she liked them. She knew how to break the curse but she couldn't explain it to anyone...Emma remembered the day she was cursed like it was yesterday. It just so happened to be the anniversary today; five years ago today.

The girl had taken a walk outside on a day like this; the leaves were falling everywhere and the cool air reminded her of grandma's. She was taking a stroll around the block and had bumped into an older lady. She was trying to get into her house, but Emma had thought she had been rude. The girl thought that the old lady had bumped into her on purpose and started to yell at her. Little did the girl know, that woman was a witch in disguise.
Emma was shocked when the woman had transformed into a beautiful goddess. She dropped her phone and cowered.

"Please, I'm sorry." She said. She knew all too well that she had come across a witch.

Her mother had told her stories when she was a child. The witch simply shook her head. She was not forgiving. Emma started to cry and the witch placed her hand on the girl's head. She mumbled some words and then Emma knew...She was cursed.

"Your punishment is that no one will ever know you appreciate them," the witch said. "No one will ever know that you really love them."

Emma cried and the witch vanished. She was lucky that on her sixteenth birthday the witch told her how to break the curse but she couldn't give anyone any hints. The girl had to be taught a lesson. And Emma learned over time. She had been single all her life because her every significant other thought that she didn't care. Emma closed her eyes and shook her head. She had to ignore that. She wouldn't let that event bring her down. Before Emma knew it though she had bumped into a man. A man she recognized from school.

"Oh I'm sorry," Emma said shlyly and cowered. She had been stuck in a memory. She thought that he was going to attack her.

[vacuusanimi]

Jarek stumbled slightly and glared at the girl for a second. He narrowed his eyes at her shy apology, perked a brow when she cowered from his eyes. She looked so pitiful, he felt a tiny twinge at the base of his neck. The urge to say it was no problem, and the reflex of holding back.

"Yeah, whatever," he said smoothly.

Suddenly, he recognized her. From one of his General Studies classes at Willamette.

"Hannah?" he said with uncertainty.

He knew it wasn't Hannah, but he figured he'd try anyway. He hated awkward moments, so he filled the silence.

"Or whatever. We have Western Civ together, don't we?" he added.

Jarek clenched his jaw as he watched her. She looked about his age, and had this strange way of being cute while she looked submissive. He narrowed his eyes again at her and pushed the thought from his mind. He gave her a quick up and down before he shifted his weight away from her.

[Miss Gates]

Emma blinked and looked at him. She shook her head. That wasn't her name, but yeah they had Western Civ together on Tuesday afternoons. She sat behind him. Damn he was freaking cute. She gave him a warm smile after she selted down and shook her head.

"Nope! I'm Emma," she said. "But yes we have that class together. I sit behind you."

[vacuusanimi]

Jarek nodded to her name.

"Emma, that's right," he agreed. "You're the one who also asks questions...and is always happy, for some reason."

He looked away from her as he spoke. He fell into a memory of class not too long ago where Jarek wanted nothing more than to send one of the books flying toward the professor's head, then Emma spoke up with her high bright voice and broke his concentration.

He remembered clenching his fists and the top of his desk cracking.

"You shouldn't do that. That class is hell," he added.

[Miss Gates]

Emma was taken aback by his sudden change of personality. She blinked.

"Do what?" She asked. "Be happy?"

That was what she had to do; force herself to be happy or at least make others think that she was happy. No one knew about her curse. No one would ever know. Or at least that's what she had thought.

[vacuusanimi]

"Yeah," he said out of reflex.

He shook his head immediately, and said, "I mean, no."

He sighed and looked away from her.

"I just mean...that class sucks. I don't see how people can be happy in it," he lied.

"...the fuck am I saying? What do I care?"

Jarek looked at Emma for a few seconds before he ran a hand through his hair, stopping at the base of his neck. Then, he sighed and lowered his arm.

"Fuck this," he muttered.

Jarek flicked his fingers and a sudden gust of wind erupted around them. Leaves crowded them, but never touched skin or clothing. The wind, however, pulled on clothing and tugged at her body, pushing her every few seconds. Jarek walked away and got a good distance down the street before he vanished into vapor.

The leaves suddenly started dropping softly as the wind quickly died down. Jarek left Emma standing in the empty street and as he reappeared behind a tree two streets over, he actually looked in her direction.

"Sorry," he whispered.

Jarek turned to face a large, three-story colonial. His home, for now.

[Miss Gates]

Emma was surprised. "Why is he being so rude?" She thought. She never saw him be this rude and what on good God's green Earth had she done except ever be happy? It was a shame people didn't want to be happy now a days. That was why she tried to be and it brought her down sometimes when others were acting like this. It pissed her off. The girl got mad but rarely did she ever show it. Then her attention was distracted when there was a sudden gust of wind around her. The leaves picked up too and every force seemed to tug at her body. "Oh no! Not again!" Emma thought she had pissed off another witch or wizard. Emma covered her face with her arms.

"Hey wait!" She called and then it had died.

She blinked and put her arms down. There was no one. He was gone in an instant. Emma looked around and didn't see him. That was weird. He disappeared like Angel in the Buffy series. God she hated it when people did that. Emma sighed and continued her walk. She thought she heard something, but it was nothing. Now she was just on her own again.

"Nice job Emma," she mumbled to herself; no one in particular.

Soft clicks emitted from her shoes as she walked on the sidewalk. The sun wasn't going down yet. She frowned. Now she was in a bad mood. All because of that guy. Men. Men were so irritating! Emma grunted in anger. And she could never be with anyone because they all thought she didn't care! Emma stomped around the block. Great. She had class with that damned guy tomorrow. Oh yay. Leaping for joy. The girl finished her walk and got inside. It was still light out so she turned on the television and had a weird sense of deja vu. Emma shook it off.

"Nothing else is going to bug me." Emma said determined and watched The Gates.

[vacuusanimi]

Jarek walked into his house and slammed the large oak door behind him. He stopped in the mahogany foyer and looked around. The layout was so not his taste. It was too royal and very antique. Well, maybe to be today, but it was amplified for him. He had seen when this style was all the rage. Now he felt as though he had been thrown back in time and was forced to relive a terrible memory.

He sighed as he removed his jacket and tossed it on an older chair sitting by an unnecessary end table.

"I'm home!" he shouted flatly.

His voice echoed slightly as he walked past the tall carpeted wooden staircase. His footsteps echoed as he stepped into a hallway that led to the sitting room and dining room.

The house was empty, as usual. His "parents" were never home. They spent most of their time away from him, actually. Even now, they were cruising somewhere by Greece, leaving Jarek to fend for himself. Like that was difficult.

The Porter's were an older couple, both in their mid-50s. Married at 16, kids at 20, grandkids at 50. But then, they adopted Jarek, and things changed dramatically.

With his past and his intentions, Jarek made it his personal duty to make the lives of the Porter's feel like it was going down the drain. Maybe that was why they spent so much time away from him.

He smiled at the idea.

"Good, stay away forever, for all I care," he muttered as he entered the large gourmet kitchen. "I'll spend your money and leave a nasty spirit for you."

[Miss Gates]

The front door creaked loudly as her parents entered the house. Now she wasn't the only one alone. Great! She leaped from her bed and pressed upon the white carpet of her room with her toes. The carpet was soft and comfortable against her feet. Maybe she walked a little wrong. There was a thing called shin splints. Those things hurt. She hoped to God she didn't walk wrong. Emma sighed and walked downstairs, winding around until she stepped onto the wooden floor. Her mother was putting the keys into a bowl that was a nightstand on the right hand side next to the door. Her mother was a beauty; black ebony hair with green eyes and tan skin. She was a cheerleader in high school. Emma wished she could be her mother. Her mother had everything; a family, a well paid job, and a lover. If only Emma was that good.

"Evening mom," Emma smiled. "How was your day?"

Her mother smiled and hung up her coat on the wall. "It was good," she said. "Your father took me out dancing." She squealed. "I can still feel the sweat on my back!"

Emma laughed and then cringed. "Ewww! Mom!" She yelled. "I didn't need to know that!" She giggled.

Mother laughed. "You will understand when you're older."

"Mom," Emma said. "I'm not twelve...I'm nineteen and in college." She paused. "I understand."

Mother smiled. "I know you do...I just wish you could be happy."

"There it was again...First my best friend and now my mother. Why does no one think I'm happy?" Emma wondered. "At least that Jarek guy believes that I'm happy. I wish everyone would. Its not fair."

"Christie!" Her father called his wife. "What do you want for dinner?" Her father's voice distracted her thoughts.

"Mom I'll be okay," Emma said. "Even if I am cursed."

Yes there it was again. Her parents knew of her mistake and believed it. There were witches and wizards in this world now. They kept well hidden but not at first. If only Emma knew that. Then maybe she would have been spared this curse. Her mother frowned at her. She didn't like it when she mentioned it. Sometimes her mother felt like a failure for not protecting her more. The curse was bad. If Emma didn't break the spell by the time she was twenty one she was to be the witch's slave for all eternity. Emma sighed heavily. That was the consequence for treating a witch disrespectfully.

"Sweetie I just want you to be safe," her mother said. "I'll go help your father in the kitchen. Have you eaten? It is pretty late."

Emma nodded. "I have eaten."

She smiled. "That's good. You should get to sleep then so you can wake up for school tomorrow."

The girl nodded. "Of course! Night mom, love you."

"And I love you." Mother said.

Emma turned around and then cringed. She had Western Civ tomorrow with Jarek...Yay. She hoped he didn't bitch at her like he did today. That was just unnecessary. She shook her head and climbed up the windy stairs. The girl turned right and in the second room was hers. She shut the door and started to change out of her clothes and into her night gown. Emma crawled into her bed and fell asleep, not happy about the next day.

[vacuusanimi]

Jarek wandered into his "father's" study and walked straight to the globe by the desk. He lifted the northern hemisphere to reveal the wide assortment of old liquors hidden away inside. He took a moment to peruse the selection. Mostly scotch, whiskey, and rum.

Jarek preferred rum, but it was low and not his brand. So, he settled for the whiskey, which smelled like it was a shotty bottle of Wild Turkey.

"Better than nothing," he muttered as he grabbed up the crystal bottle.

He slammed the globe closed and left the room, turning down the hall to go upstairs. Jarek had purposely chosen the room furthest from his "parents". He didn't want to hear them if he didn't have to. Plus, he gave him opportunity to mess around with his magic.

As he crested the stairs, he sent one glance down the right hallway. All the doors blasted open and the windows within them suddenly opened with loud bangs. Jarek smirked as he strode leisurely down his hallway to his room at the end of the hall.

"What in God's name!?"

His adopted mother had shouted that the first time he'd done it. He was so young and still laughing, instead of being scared. From that moment on, Jarek made it his personal duty to make his parents believes their house was haunted by a terrible poltergeist.

As Jarek approached his door, the latch pulled and it slowly swung open to reveal a relatively plain room. He didn't care for decorating his walls with posters or have all his clothes strewn about the floor. He tried to be neat and tidy...normal. But it didn't go over very well when he was in high school. His parents had thought him to be depressed...or have OCD.

He set the bottle down on his nightstand and collapsed face first into the down comforter. He sighed heavily and stretched his arms out to claw his way onto the bed fully.

He thought abot what he had planned for tomorrow. Class.

"Fuck," he muttered into the blanket. "Western Civ."

He had sure made an impression on Emma today, hadn't he? What with his harsh conversation and then just vanishing before her eyes, practically, he'd gotten off to a good start.

Jarek rolled over and stared up at his ceiling, imagining her face when the wind picked up and threw leaves at her face. He wondered what she was doing now, then glanced at the time.

It wasn't late, but it wasn't early either. Class was at 7:30 in the morning. He tried to remember why he had picked the damn class. He knew enough about Western Civilization from experience, but he had a charade to keep going. Better to get the shitty classes out of the way early on.

"Don't talk to her," he said to himself as he reached for the bottle. "Not one word."

[Miss Gates]

It was a sunny day and she was walking again; it was like a repetition of yesterday. Emma was confused. Terribly confused. It was as if someone had pressed rewind on video tape and Emma did not like it one bit. She was nervous for some odd reason. The girl felt like she was supposed to meet someone and she was very happy about that. "What the hell? Who am I meeting?" Emma wondered. A couple feet back, Emma spotted Jarek. Her eyes widened in fear. "No way! Why is he here?!" Her expression changed but her feeling remained the same.

"Jarek I love you!" Emma cried.

The girl opened her eyes and sat up in the bed. "No! Bull shit!" She yelled a little too loudly and hoped to God she didn't wake her parents.

Emma panicked over both ideas; her dream and parents. What did the dream mean? Whatever it was Emma didn't like it at all. There was no way she could like that jerk. He scared her too. He was rude and disgusting! Okay, he wasn't disgusting. Oh wait...His personality was disgusting! And denial. Damn it all too Hell Emma liked him. She had a crush on him. But that's all it was! Just a crush! He was way out of her league. She could never touch him or the more important fact is that he would never touch her. Emma sighed heavily and laid back down. Her feelings scared her. She didn't want to talk to him.

"Not one word," Emma whispered and closed her eyes again.

However a part of her wondered what Jarek was doing.

[vacuusanimi]

It was the same dream he had every time he went to sleep. He just drank so much before bed so that he could sleep. The fire, the screaming, the blood. Jarek thrashed in his sleep and when he held out a hand to reach for his mother, a loud crash woke him. He sat bolt upright and held both hands up at the ready as he glanced around his room.

There was no one there, save himself. But one of his bedposts was now completely shattered and laying in splinters on the floor. Something he'd grown accustomed to.

"Just me," Jarek sighed and pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Fuck," he muttered before he glanced at the time. "Only 6:30 this time. Better than last night."

Like clockwork, usually, Jarek would always wake up three to four hours before he needed to. But, this time, and he didn't know why, he had managed to sleep longer. As he slowly slid his legs across the bed to the edge, he thought about his plans for the day.

"Aw, fuck," he grimaced as he stood up. "Western Civ."

That meant he'd be faced with Emma, the little ball of sunshine. Well, it didn't matter. He'd already promise himself he wouldn't speak a word to her.

He didn't really bother too much with getting ready, just changed his shirt and threw on some deodorant. Other than that, he was pretty much ready to go. Jarek glanced at himself in the only mirror he had in his room. It was cracked, from some other night that he had the dream about his mother, but still functional.

He looked tired, no, exhausted. He rubbed his eyes a little before he gave up and started toward the door. He vanished into the same familiar mist and reappeared just outside the gates of his property.

"So not excited for today," he sighed as he started toward Willamette.

[Miss Gates]

Emma's alarm clock was the first thing she heard in the morning. Thankfully, it played the radio. She slammed her hand on top of the clock, turning it off. Emma groaned. She hated mornings. The girl sat up and blinked her eyes several times. She quickly got out of bed, which made her dizzy and headed for her bathroom. The girl took a shower and then did her hair and make up while she dried off. After she was done she put on a slim pair of jeans and a blue plaid shirt. Emma looked at herself in the mirror. She was gorgeous. Why did she put so much effort into looking pretty? It's not like she was able to impress anyone. Emma shrugged. Still. She looked good. The girl bounced downstairs, chipper as usual and walked into the kitchen. She made some toast and got some juice. Emma got her things together for school and headed out the door.

The bus took forever to get here and she was slightly frustrated. She hated the bus in the freezing cold weather. She got to school and waited at the elevators, avoiding Jarek at all costs. She pressed up and waited some more. It was taking a long time. Emma was not a patient person. She got to the floor and walked into class. Now she couldn't avoid him. The girl sighed and started to read a book while she waited for the class.

[vacuusanimi]

Jarek walked slowly down the stret with his hands in his pockets. He could see the school in the distance, could smell the intelligence, or lack thereof. He closed his eyes and imagined Emma sitting in class, waiting for it to begin. He could see her in his head, sitting at her desk.

With that, he sighed and disappeared into a thick mist, reappearing in the stairwell just outside of the floor his class was on. He inhaled and could smell something familiar. Jarek glanced around as he opened the door to leave the stairwell.

"Okay then," he said as he started toward his classroom.

Before he made it to the door, he could see Emma for a second. She as reading, eyes focused intensely. He chuckled as he placed a hand on the door and slowly entered the room.

He didn't make eye contact with her. He just took his seat in fron of her and leaned the chair back.